10 ways to ask a relative for permission to upload their DNA results to other sites

Before asking my 80-something uncle for permission to upload his AncestryDNA results to GEDmatch, FamilyTreeDNA, and MyHeritage, I solicited advice from members of Blaine Bettinger’s very popular Facebook group, Genetic Genealogy Tips & Techniques.

Mr. Bettinger preaches we must receive “informed consent” before uploading someone’s DNA results to other sites, and I agree. We must also make sure they know law enforcement uses GEDmatch to identify suspects of a violent crime.Here are 10 of the top suggestions I received.

1. Tell him you hope to connect with other relatives who can help build your family tree and fill in some of the blanks.
2. Share a family history mystery or brick wall you are trying to solve, and ask if he’d be willing to help in a simple way. Wait for his response before telling him about uploading his results to other sites.
3. Explain how uploading his DNA results to other sites and their databases gives you access to a bigger pool of people, providing access to more matches — without the cost of testing at the other companies.
4. Say you are asking for his permission to use another database. People who have already agreed to test are often happy to be included elsewhere.
5. Tell him that uploading his DNA results to other sites provides an opportunity to find more relatives.
6. If he is concerned about privacy, tell him you will create an alias instead of using his real name, and that you will be the contact.
7. Focus the conversation on what a gift he would be giving to you and other family members who want to trace their roots.
8. Tell him there are a lot of cool tools on the other sites that you can use to analyze and maximize the value of his test results.
9. Show him what GEDmatch looks like so he can see how the results are displayed.
10. Share examples of successes you’ve had after uploading DNA results to other sites. It can be easier to understand if you say, “This is how I found a second cousin.”

As for my uncle’s response? He said, yes. What probably sold my uncle, who grew up during the Depression, was how I would be able to upload his results to three other sites for free, while increasing the potential for more matches.